Aloof

Aloof

In the midst of the haze and the mist
Amongst the swarming city dwellers;

I contest to walk at a pace yet unset,

For time is something I cannot help but desist. 

Living the fantasy of the a past long gone

Gratitude - I must display; but sadly 

This is the portrait I never perceived

That my ambition was nothing but a con;

A con that has an unsettling lurch; 

Like with the changing phases of the moon

Drives tides to erratic, staggering heights -

in life it thwarts a smile with loneliness’ smirch. 

“Be strong, you have a bright future ahead” 

An antiquated cliche heard one too many times. For
they must fail to comprehend the arduous struggle,
 as the heart outstrips the mind on a sharp,fragile thread. 

Longing to be someones constant in the midst of change,

Abrupt reminders that pierce the psyche reveal themselves - 

everywhere, whenever the soul becomes wanderlust;

Genuine love is no longer a currency of exchange. 

#25 Hurt locker

Hurt locker 

When you have a heart made of glass
And a wildflower disposition
The hurt locker is your best shelter
For another heart is never your acquisition. 

You pray and you hope and you give
But the lack in you pioneers
For you love and you sin and you live
But your inability to hide it, are the malicious spears. 

You say out loud what needs to be spoken
Inhibitions have never been your best friend
You falter for you always fail to realize
Transparency is the real maleficent fiend 

In a judgmental world you are thriving
Your feelings have no place no here
You have to survive with the winding
For no matter how cutthroat, your story is mere.

Hearts are not meant for iron lockers

Yet the facades overshadow fantasies

You move places, but your story has the same fate

You are a lone ranger fighting the unpredictable seas.

Put on a bulletproof vest, the best days are far behind

Lonely concrete jungles have no empathy
Befriend solitude for like mindedness doesn't exist
In this zone of brevity, affection doesn't trespass the empty. 
 

#24 The O.N.S

The O.N.S 

Surrendering plans, the dreamer awakes

fantasies are possibilities, there are no stakes.

Losses and wins, catches and misses

now long abandoned with all the misplaced kisses.

Wanderlust youth, just existing and not being

drunk on a love that’s only deceiving.

Reaching out for hands that were never there,

they lay wasted in the one night stand’s flair . 

Eyes refuse to meet, scared they would all reveal;

warmth seeking bodies, now as cold as steel,

craving simple assurances - be there no sorrow, 

let this be the beginning, a promise of a tomorrow. 

Bated breaths fill the unaccustomed space

as the guilty ego and satiated desire set the pace

for malicious games of the hunter and it’s prey, 

set up to the lead the souls in this union astray

The weaker link gets trapped in the facades- 

novel moments strengthening them against all odds. 

Red memories created in a mystical grey haze

Blue nightmares now fuel the woe’s golden blaze. 

Freeze the search for reason behind lost meanings

carefully tread through imminent dealings

shush the voice that tells you otherwise, 

for these conquests come without a prize. 

Revel in the game played, raise no hope

let the numbness be the glass-lined rope

guiding you to the ambiguous conclusion -  

someday, you shall decipher this illusion. 

# 23 The Climax

The Climax

When waves come to standstill, 

the Ocean of emotions parts

to make way for the overkill - 

an ego injured with fate’s darts. 

The poet draws out its magnanimous weapon,

but this is no battlefield for words.

The fiend then solitude does it beckon;

And so it arrives in malicious herds. 

This solitary dialogue is no mistaken friend

it’s sweet nectar laced with deceit

the poet’s failed attempts to transcend, 

ink now flows in the color of defeat.

Forget the breath, forget the sight

soothing familiarity no longer lingers.

An authentic surrender in its finest might-

breaks the chorus of empathetic singers. 

The waves are now set in motion,

the poet’s left lusting after the thrill,

drinking the potion of mortal devotion

imagination then, becomes his bastille. 

#22 Concious

Conscious 

Having lost so many wonderful things,
Only to attain the better
When happenstances overshadow happenings
They reveal the hidden letter -
Emancipation lies in slumber, a leap of faith away
Shedding fear, embracing your tears
Realizing that transcendental things will sway.
Before time passes by the eonic years-
Never crumble like the wooden walls,
Sweeping away those mutable insecurities-
Fortune will then embrace the implorable calls
For serendipity and intimate abundance.

#21 The One

The One

Unrequited. Affliction. Infinite pursuit of bliss,
Wrecked lusting after the fervor of the first kiss.
My sole companion - dreaded solitude.
Chimeras unfulfilled; Save the gratitude -
For The One that is to come they say,
The lingering sympathy is their sole deed to pay.

Envisage into your holistic existence
A forbearing, everlasting presence.
Promise of a being that nourishes -
The One erases all antecedent blemishes,
Leaves you with happiness abound
Naught but serenity and mirth is heard aloud.

But The One never arrives.
Is he lost? Behind obscurity why does he hide?
Perfection is never sought; only complied -
Is that my flaws he amend or hold with pride.
And fulfill my thirst for colloquy with eternal abate,
As dawn turns to dusk; night into day does it fade.

A  wordless zealous prayer is spoken,
 A soul that is enduringly crushed by societal burden;
Queries as to why essentialism to it is denied,
But for others, it has been the conventional guide.
The soul, it’s fragile strings had been entwined
With the labyrinth, yet the search turns out blind.

Fading away from the oblivion, despair wistfully persists
Vanity vanishes, the incessant heart now resists -
The company it had previously coveted profoundly
In the wake of defeat, it now rests soundly.
For The One, so meticulously imagined and created
Was just a figment of fantasy that was once sated.