# 15 Paper Airplanes

This lovely short film reminded me of the fact, that if two people are meant to be together, no matter how unreal the circumstances, they will end up together. For I believe in soul mates and of course mine is out there somewhere probably still awake at 4 am, getting bored like me and thinking absurdly nonsensical thoughts while humming to himself haha. 
Oh it also inspired me to write a short poem which is slightly different and casual to what I'm used to writing, but well it perfectly describes the feelings this short film conjured up in my being. 

The short film first: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=aTLySbGoMX0

And here's the poem. 

Paper Airplanes

When life falls into a rut,
When monotony becomes robust,
Will you make paper airplanes?
That fly across city traffic lanes.
Become my saviour and help me find you,
For behind this lull, I have been waiting in lieu,
For a spark that picks up the wind.
And changes life's directional swing.
Once found, never to be lost,
We will live in abandon, come rain or frost.
Will you please make paper airplanes?
That fly across city traffic lanes.
Help you find me,
 Together the world we shall see.
For these city lanes and office window panes,
Will only let us perish in vain.
As I fold a piece of paper,
Like a bird, stuck in this cage of a skyscraper,
I hope you're doing the same.
Let's make our own fate, let's not leave destiny to blame.
As strangers, we shall meet
But as lovers from a distant time, each other we will greet.
So when life falls into a rut
and monotony becomes robust,
Let's both make paper airplanes,
That fly across city traffic lanes.

# 14 Wildflower

Wildflower

I am the wildflower that never blooms. 

I am a bird with a whimsical plume.

Always there in existence,

Reality bites dust in my mind's presence

Vague and livid, extraordinary embellishments.

Escape and shine; my exact sentiments.

Try to determine my entity if you must,

You will be lost in an abyss, in that I trust. 

For I am deeper than a lake,

I am a kaleidoscopic jewel of my own make.

Cast in platinum, the stronger I get

With every blow, my purpose is set. 

Mistake me not for the snow in the wind,

Wayward roads are not always a sin. 

For every path that I have tread,

Can be poetry that shall be read.

An understanding someone, someday shall gain, 

And I will know my viability wasn't lost in vain. 

For I am the wildflower that never blooms. 

I am a light that burns with a vibrant fume. 

# 13 Mystify

Mystify

Look at the moon and see my heart,

Look at the stars as we part.

For every scar on the moon is a mirror reflection,

Every star symbolizes an unknown direction

My entire cognizance, you have occupied,

with consequences that leave one mystified.

A stone heart gets locked in a chest,

It was nothing but a menace and a pest.

I burn the key and let the flames emblaze me,

As I am tired, my youth won't let me be. 

Someday when the right elements come along

Like a phoenix my existence will rise from the ashes of the wrong.

Till then I am the actor with a deceiving smile. 

I am the naive liar with lack of guile. 

But you will be convinced, for I can't let you grasp,

That within your grip, my torture you clasp.

Exhaustion has interrupted the search,

We belong to two worlds that may not merge. 

Yet a part of me will always be fragile,

For it is the hope that in actuality is hostile.

# 12 Silence

Silence

Listen to the silence,

Listen to its melodic sanity.

Crowns of glories bygone, 

Like history forgotten

Yet glisten  with rubies

As red as the blood gushing through the veins. 

The lesser evil breathes for the last time, 

Leaving just a sanctity of bliss. 

The flow of natural order restored, 

Karma falls into a slumber.

Awoken to be never, for

Love and euphoria are all one wants,

And all one's acquired.

Listen to the climactic silence. 

Inhale its melodic sanity. 

# 11 Lull

Spinning in a whirlwind of fantasy

yearning for a blooming reality,
I have come to be.
Healing is painful
breaking away from life's lull
My heart is now silent.
For all the words that have been said
A debt is still left unpaid
Fooled twice, I am at fault.
To laugh or to cry
to fight or to try
this demon of the past reappears.
Horizons crossed, a non treaded path,
A puppet in the hands of faiths wrath
yet not forlorn, I let it be.

#10. You vs Your Heart.

I am no stranger to a broken heart. It just so happens that I am a romantic and I fall in love too much and too often. (maybe love is a strong overly used word - admiration and awe seems more appropriate) Too much of anything has its consequences, but then again so does too much of nothing. Bidding farewell to those feelings that never really achieved a loud enough frequency to be heard is to put it - excruciatingly unyielding. If you place this person on a pedestal for long, his flaws almost vanish and never really penetrate through your logical and cognitive reasoning.  Relieving your mind of those relived circuited fantasies is not an easily achievable task. And time isn't your best friend right now either. Time does not heal any open wounds on its own. Speaking from experience, if left to father time alone those wounds get further inflicted and leave a permanent scar on the already marred heart.

So far all I have learned from my previous heartbreaks, (only 2.5 maybe 3 to be precise) is that you have to let go of 'the hope'. You have to let go and give up on counting all those 'what ifs'. This tiny flicker of desire, the glimmer of expectation, that something might work out in the future is the devil that resides on your shoulder seducing your mind with sweet nothings, filling it with 'the hope'. This little devil is resilient, springing back with full force if you so much as to just happen to see this person. You have to keep on persistently brushing it of till it gets tired once and for all and gives up on trying to put your mind into a tumultuous state.
 
Getting over a crush or a relationship is a bootcamp (at least for me) You have to train your feelings, exercise your mind and over-exert your thoughts. You have to force your eyes to see the harsh, yet obvious reality which had always been in front of you; just that the deceiving drapes behind which it was hiding were too distractingly beautiful. You need to get hold of the rope and lift the curtains. And then everything steadily falls into place, with the same rhythm as that of a Shakespearean play. You are the central character. As each part of the stage play is performed, everything makes sense. 

The first part - overly exaggerated grieving - you cry to your friends, consume ginormous amounts of carbohydrates, chocolates and ice cream. Bitch the person out. Watch the sappy movies that make you cry. You cry, cry and cry. For me its more of literal crying than figurative ; I write.  And I think crying and grieving is as indispensable as all that feel good chocolate consumed,  that you later hit the gym to work off.

Next comes the self reliance part. You have to turn to your biggest support system - yourself. No matter how much of a 'scumbag steve' your brain is,  it has a 'good guy greg' inside too and just when you least expect it, this good guy walks in like a superhero ( always at the last minute) and saves the day. You just have to anxiously wait for his magnificent entry. This finally allows you to see the object of your desire as a real person; flaws and et al. He/she finally loses the demigod like position that they had taken up in your head. This leads to the climax. To put it in embellished poetic words - 'you see the light'. And then you wonder why in the first place did you ever wear your heart on your sleeve for this person?  

Then it's time to reward yourself for being such a strong person and to get out there and resume the stalled search for whatever or whoever it is that makes you happy.

Every person desires and deserves to be adored back. As I sit in a coffee shop and type this out, there's a couple sitting across from me, young and so much in love. I do feel disappointed about the state of my life right now. I too want to have someone who reciprocates my feelings by my side, but I CAN wait. Maybe right now isn't the right time. I believe that even though one's heart desires different things, the universe still is the major conspiring force and everyone always ends up with the right person at the end of the day.  I am not going to stop looking, but I'm definitely going to stop trying, for things will happen when they have to happen. My work right now is to just keep sending out those positive vibes into the universe (I'll try the least to say at this point). Even if I go against my insecurities and muster up the courage to say out loud how I feel, there is no cent percent guarantee that everything will go as planned by the non-sensical part of my brain. For me its easier to live with my bottled up feelings than disappointment. All that is left and all that I am going to do now is wait. A wait that better be worth it. 

Well on another note, I might still be in the grieving phase right now (I can never be too sure, my mind has a mind of its own) and this song to put it for the overly romantic side of mine, hits the spot!

#9. Devoid

A poem that i wrote for one of my classes...

Devoid

A supernova explosion of misapprehensions

puts a thousand light years between us.

Lined with stardust, searching for a map;

there's treasure to be found.

Hindered by trembling fingers, unshed tears

I run.

The first promise of unconditional passion -

separated by a thousand last ones of failed compromises,

a longing to see my face

in your eyes, carry me through

this labyrinth of uncleared feelings.

I walk.

I finally arrive.

With ameliorated perceptions, devout apologies.

Treasure found- your gentle smile so warm,

makes sunlight seem like a gust of gelid gale.

The search forgotten, your arms,

I sleep.